I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying, especially in the 3-5 a.m. time slot. What if, what if…My mind revs and races, contemplating the worst possible outcomes of everything. It is not healthy, makes little sense, and neither prevents nor solves anything.
In my experience, bad things happen in an instant. They come out of nowhere and irrevocably change your world. Cancer, unexpected loss of a good friend, accidents. The things I worry about never happen. Of course my son drove through the ice storm with no problem. The check up I had been dreading revealed no much-worried-about serious medical condition. Planes are safer than cars. No, the tornado won’t hit us. Wait, on second thought, the tornado might hit us. I think our family is a tornado attractor. My grandmother’s house was completely wiped out from a tornado in Caruthersville, Missouri, and my parents house sustained damage in a St. Louis tornado a few years ago. I will keep tornadoes on my worry list…
Thanks to the recent plethora of televised sports (not a fan), I have been upstairs watching chick flicks (fan!) A recent view was a time travel movie, About Time. (Brief review, 3/5 stars, innocuous and just mildly entertaining, penalty for forced-clever title.) What I did like, though, was the ending (and no, not just because it was over.) The time traveling father gave advice to his time traveling son, stating the best way to use the gift is simply to re-live every day the way it should be lived, and truly appreciate the “extraordinary, ordinary life” you have been given.
This is what I have been working on this year, less worry, more appreciation. I know bad things will happen, that’s life. Worrying doesn’t prevent anything. I will try to focus on the now, and the small, beautiful moments found in each day, if only we look. My morning mantra was “2014 is going to be a great year!” I recently changed it to “2014 is a great year” because I want to focus on appreciating my own, extraordinary, ordinary life. Now someone tell that silly nighttime brain of mine!