Have I gotten to the crotchety stage? I don’t think I have yet uttered “these kids today…” but maybe I have thought it?
So when did marriage get superseded by weddings? It seems ridiculous amounts of time and money are spent on planning the “perfect” celebration. Flip on any random girlie TV channel and you will see brides shopping for outrageous (and often, truth be told, slightly slutty) gowns, yelling at anyone in sight, crying and behaving badly in general. I know, but it’s like a train wreck, I am compelled to glance over! Once I saw a recently wedded woman on one of these shows who was livid and crying that it rained on her wedding day and “ruined” it. Wow… I even stumbled on a show all about bridesmaid dresses, seriously. The bossy pants bridesmaids dictated what they would and would not wear, and told the bride in no uncertain terms that if she didn’t capitulate, they would not BE bridesmaids. Um, good? It used to be we all understood and accepted that bridesmaid gowns were at best, not embarrassing, and you would NEVER wear them again, unless you go in for formal sledding on Art Hill, which I recommend highly, by the way.
Yes, but this is “reality” television. Sorry to say in my experience it is also reality. So much money is spent on a few hours. Months of planning, strategizing and finagling money to stage a party that in reality, because of emotion and/or booze, you won’t really remember all that well, anyway. Honestly, table decorations, flowers, color schemes and place cards will not in any way affect your marriage, or even the fun factor at your reception.
Sometimes I think I might secretly be male. I really, really didn’t care at all about my own wedding. I have a very sociable, take charge mother who loves parties, people and planning. She and her friend actually picked out my wedding dress. I went by the store, tried it on and said “okay.” She chose the food, the band, the flowers, the cake. I was really like an old fashioned groom, all I had to do was show up. It’s not that I wasn’t interested in the wedding. Of course I was, but only as a formal symbol of the beginning of marriage to my wonderful husband. If I had my 53 year old brain at that time, and could do a do-over, I would either get married in the back yard with a few close friends and family in attendance, or maybe a nice quiet ceremony in the mountains with same guest list.
I wonder how many brides and grooms on their wedding night realize that, if they are truly lucky, how much they love their spouse at that moment will be the least amount of love they will ever have for that person.
And if you think rain on your wedding day is a huge, heart rending problem, you are thoroughly unprepared for adulthood and marriage.