I am technologically challenged… seriously technologically challenged (note basic set up of blog). I can usually turn on and off the TV, unless someone has switched to dvd or something. Is it still called dvd? Is that the same as Blue Ray? I generally can retrieve phone messages from my cell phone, which I need to do often as I never, ever, answer my cell phone. I usually have to use the house phone to call and find it. The one piece of equipment that gives me the most trouble in our home is our *&#**ING toaster. Can’t work it, not at all, makes no sense with squiggly line symbols that all look like smoking toast.
I am not, however, sweepstakes challenged, I love to enter, and even if it involves filling out stuff on the computer, I do it! Logically I know I won’t win, but a girl can dream, can’t she? Actually I won a sweepstakes once. I received a “free” cupcake at Disney World during their two years of “Year of a Million Dreams” giveaways. My favorite sweepstakes are the HGTV dream houses. I have envisioned winning all of them. I can see myself sitting in a hot tub at a beautiful mountain retreat, or sipping wine on my Napa porch, even enjoying the city view from my sleek NYC apartment. The newest give-away, however, gives me pause. It’s a smart home in Nashville. A really smart home, with just about everything from the plumbing on up digitized and computerized, even the front door. Oh, the problems I foresee with this…
First, I’m at the front door and can’t get in. That’s okay, I’ll call hubs for clues to operating. Wait, I can’t find my cell phone, must have left it in the house I can’t get into. Plus side, every entrance is monitored so family can go back and watch me struggle with entry, providing hours of amusement, I am sure.
let’s say I somehow get in. Darn it, I just want to close the curtains, now they are sashaying open and shut like an elegant ballroom dance couple. Oops, I hit something and the heat is blasting to sauna level. I’ll just go into the kitchen and get a drink. How the *&a*! do I turn on the lights? Oh no, I think I set off the burglar alarm! The fridge is as impenetrable as Fort Knox, and getting a glass of ice water would take a degree in computer science. I’ll just go in and watch TV. Really? I can’t even get it to pop out of its hidey hole.
That’s it, I need a relaxing shower. Off to investigate the operating panel that is supposedly pre programmed with our favorite settings. God I yearn for the shower dials of yore. Well, that’s out. Nature calls. Seriously? A computerized toilet? I HATE this house! (but I am still entering).