In this best of all Mays, I feel the need to acknowledge the man who has been next to me, riding that same rollercoaster and holding my hand for almost 30 years (June 14th!).
I think about our wedding vows and how true they were and are. In sickness and in health, you bet: cancer, broken bones, surgeries (Karl-4 Cheri-0, but who’s counting?), kids’ crises, births and deaths, we weathered it all. For richer and for poorer: awards, accolades, raises, random firings, failed job interviews, unemployment, success again.
As long as we both shall live. I have been thinking about mortality, natural at this stage of life. Hubs says we should look at this time in our marriage as the Wednesday of vacation, a lot of fun has gone by, but there is still so much to be had. Thirty more years would be the best gift ever.
Throughout it all, we always laugh, even if it is through tears.
But I think the vows are missing something. What about through thick and thin? And that would be me. During our marriage I have been everything from L.A. acceptable to pregnancy weight without the pregnancy. My body contour fluctuates much more frequently than my hairstyle. Hubs himself pudged up a bit at one point, but his body now looks like it did when I met him, albeit with a lot less hair.
I think, to each other, we are just simply beautiful. It’s not about the size, or the hair, or anything superficial, not that we both don’t enjoy a skinny squeeze now and then.
My mom was a constant presence in my life for 54 years. For the last five or so, taking care of my parents was a main focus. After she died, a little over a year ago, I rolled myself up in a ball and spun a cocoon. I did not take care of myself; I couldn’t. I mourned. As I slowly shed my chrysalis, I realized I was one dreary, chubby moth. It was time to love myself again, make those pesky doctors’ appointments and get on the weight loss track … again.
I have been working at it the way that works best for me: calories in, calories out, lot’s of exercise and cheat days here and there. I am definitely the tortoise, not the hare.
I have lost a bit of weight now, noticeable but not at the finish line. Enjoying the nice weather this week, I donned a pair of shorts from last summer and went outside to join Hubs on the back deck.
He looked up at me, eyeing my now baggy shorts and said “Nice clown pants!”
This is our way; encouragement, humor and a mutual recognition that it’s not the wrapping, but the fact that we are still best friends, still riding the ride together and still here, looking forward to our next adventurous chapter. Whether I’m in clown pants or skinny jeans, life with Hubs is never dull, and I wouldn’t change a thing.