I have a shocking confession to make. I sleep with someone besides my husband. He shares his bed with another, as well. Perhaps this is the key to our rather successful thirty-plus year union? Don’t judge, it works for us.
Our bed partner is a very good-looking younger gal, sleek and appealing, the kind of girl who gets unsolicited attention as she walks down the street. Okay, she’s no scholar, but she is funny, exciting and quite unpredictable.
Lily’s usual nightly position is right smack between the two of us, often turning one way to the other to give and receive her desired (required?) amount of attention and affection. She is a bit restless, though, so I have resorted to building a pillow fortress to keep her off of me during my attempts at sleeping. This works sporadically, until princess gets cold and decides to nose her way completely under the covers to escape the arctic assault of our bedroom temperature (a harrowing 68 degrees!). And then, of course, she gets too hot, so back up and out she goes.
One night, after a usual second or third nocturnal disruption, I began to realize that what I say to Lily in bed is often the same as I say to my husband:
- Quit hogging the covers!
- You’re snoring again…
- Get off me!
- Quit licking
To be honest, there are times when my hubs and I would like to be left alone in our marital bed. We have asked Lily nicely to leave; she refuses. We have escorted her out and locked the bedroom door. She simply sits outside in the hallway and complains, loudly and persistently. This is how she earned her nickname, Buzzkill McGhee.
But this holiday season, we experienced a true Christmas miracle. Girlfriend has a lot of admirable qualities, but she is a bit odoriferous, honestly a tad on the gamey side at times. We were discussing the problem when Hubs leaned over and asked “Hey Lily, do you want a bath?”
She immediately jumped up, flattened her ears, tucked her tail and streaked out of the bedroom. All the calling, cooing and sweet talking in the world would not get her to return. Thank you, Santa, for this fantastic gift. We will treasure it always, and use it judiciously.